Others Like Me by Nicole Louie

Author:Nicole Louie
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: House of Anansi Press Inc
Published: 2024-11-01T15:11:39+00:00

There is one couple that comes to mind. A Thai TV actress, Piyathida Woramusik, and an actor, Napassakorn Midaim. They got married but they say they will never have children. When I found out, I thought, I want to find a guy like him.

I’ve never been in a serious relationship. I went to an all-girls school. Then, when I went to university, there were only eight boys in my classroom, and seven of them were gay. So I didn’t meet many guys with whom I could go on dates. If I can find a good man, then I would like to marry, but if I cannot, then I would rather be single than marry someone who doesn’t think like me. No kids!

Before I was twenty-nine, I used to be unhappy about not wanting to become a mother. Until then, I thought that even though I did not want a child, if I got married I’d probably have to have one anyway and that made me feel terrible. Back then I didn’t even know that childfree people existed. I didn’t know that there were so many people who don’t want to have children in the world. Then I found a thread called “Do You Want to Have Kids or Not?” in a Thai online forum, and many people replied that they didn’t want to and that they called themselves childfree. I became familiar with the term and also experienced a sense of relief for knowing there were others like me.

Soon after this discovery, I made a commitment to myself. Becoming a mother did not define happiness, so I wouldn’t be a mother and I should find a compatible partner who doesn’t want children. Unfortunately, that’s hard.

Dating apps are great, but only a few apps have a section where you can say if you want children or not, so they haven’t really worked well for me so far. Even when I find childfree men, they are in another country. Also, I’m picky: I like handsome men. So even if they are childfree and live in my country, there are other things that don’t match my preferences.

Being childfree is now part of my identity. I’ve made up my mind and I know I will never be a mother. I don’t feel any pressure from friends or acquaintances to reconsider my decision, but, strangely enough, I feel pressure online. When the topic is being discussed in forums and I share the reason why I don’t want kids, there are always some people who reply: “Who will take care of you when you are old?” They really try to make me change my mind, even though we don’t know each other. Then I end up replying because I want them to let me be. People have to let you be what you want to be. When I’m asked why I don’t want children, I tell them like it is. I never lie. I want them to understand my motivation.

Some people think that those who don’t want children must come from an unhappy family, but that wasn’t the case for me.

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